Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

Let’s Get this Train Moving!! Thursday July 10, 2008

Filed under: Wedding Planning — The Professor @ 6:28 pm

It’s time to stop thinking about this marriage and start planning a wedding.  Ok, so here are the things that have been accomplished so far:


1. Save the Date magnets (fabulous) have been purchased and sent

2. The venue has been selected and reserved.  The woman who is renting us the space (it’s a small art gallery) has also agreed to coordinate catering and flowers with downtown vendors.  Very cool.

3. My ring has been purchased (but you knew that)

4. Photographer has been booked.


The tasks that are looming:


1. Select and purchase a ring for Toad

2. Pick and order invitations (we are making some progress here)

3. Mail invitations

4. Purchase Toad wedding garment.  She tried on lots of different things in Atlanta and we’ve settled on an idea.  She will wear nicely fitted pants, a non-boxy vest, and a button down shirt in a dressy fabric and a fun, lively color.  This may or may not include a carefully selected and lovely tie.  Still working on that part of the vision.  The challenge here is that Toad is a small toad and I don’t want her to get lost in some kind of “Honey, I’m off to the office” kind of suit.  She looks good and we need to find a garment (oh Tim Gunn, can you hear me?) that looks as good as she does.  If you have any ideas, I would LOVE to hear them.

5. Purchase ravishing dress for the Professor.  I plan to coordinate my color with her shirt.  Not matchy-matchy, but coordinated.  Perhaps royal blue or lavendar.  We’ll see…

6. Secure officiant for the ceremony.  We’ve begun conversations with the minister at our Unitarian fellowship, but we haven’t finalized anything.


Ok, so there you go.  That’s where we stand.  Onward and upward.  And if anyone has Toad garment ideas/advice/thoughts, please let me know.  Also thanks to my friend at Journal of a _________, for sharing what you did about your wedding.  Most helpful!!


4 Responses to “Let’s Get this Train Moving!!”

  1. Desaray Says:

    You two are going in the same direction Lauren wants to go in — slacks, shirt, vest, but she wants skinny slacks. As far as suggestions, the woman that hosts the logo wedding show, elvira kurt, wears a lot of nice vests, ms. gingerbread has a recent post about ties, . In terms of how to deal with all the size stuff . . . I’m pretty sure its all about finding a tailor. LGBT, straight, gay-friendly, homophobic, I dunno, everyone has to figure that part out on their local-own, but basically, buy what you like and go get it altered.

  2. nutella Says:

    I second the recommendation for a good tailor. The pants ought to fit thru the waist, butt and thighs, length can be altered as needed. The most important thing about the vest would be that it matches the pants. Fit doesn’t really matter because remaking it to fit nicely should be very simple if you have an accomplished tailor. I would recommend all the places a woman would typically shop for a nice suit.

    Matching the dress shirt to your dress is more complicated. Ideally, they would be made from the same fabric and the best way to acheive that is to have them made together. This really isn’t as difficult as it sounds. You can search your local community for a dressmaker who would easily be able to make both garments from the same fabric. Another option is to buy your dress from a bridal shop and order extra yardage of the fabric to have a shirt made. I was an attendant in a wedding a few years ago where we did something similar. One of the other attendants was 6 months pregnant and when the rest of us ordered our skirts she ordered fabric and had a matching maternity dress made.

    My wife wore a bridesmaids dress for our wedding which we ordered from a bridal shop. We wanted it made floor length and in ivory and the shop was happy to do that for an additional fee. It ended up being far cheaper than a wedding dress. I think it was under $400 including alterations.

  3. Dylan Says:

    I’m a tiny butch and I just wore a tux to my mom’s wedding. I thought for sure it would be a big mess and ill fitting, but they did measurements, we hoped for the best, and the fit was actually fantastic! Men’s Warehouse also rents/sells suits that are spectacular. The people who work there are also usually women so the whole fitting process wasn’t awkward at all. They have tons of styles to chose from too! You should check them out. We went to a place in the mall called TUX, but it was a division of Men’s Warehouse.

  4. Michael Says:

    Oh the joys of same-sex formalwear. We’re lucky that neither one of us is gender-bending our attire. Our biggest problem is avoiding dressing alike. Hence no tuxedos…. Good luck!

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