Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

Family Tuesday March 31, 2009

Filed under: Family — The Professor @ 8:21 pm

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I spent the weekend with these guys and I am SO glad that I did.  It has been hard to make time for visits now that we are so far apart, but that just means that we’ve got to soak it all in and appreciate the time that we do have.  That was exactly what we did this weekend.  Here are some highlights from the trip:

  • Margaritas and conversation at the bar at Longhorn
  • A crawfish boil in an airplane hanger (only in MS)
  • My Mom initiating a conversation about our baby plans
  • Bunco with my Mom’s friends (a ridiculously boring game, but super fun people)
  • Coffee and the Today show on  the couch
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Poseidon and the Bitter Bug Tuesday March 24, 2009

Filed under: Music — The Professor @ 4:30 pm

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Hey!  The Indigo Girls are talking to you!  Know what they’re saying?  Well, I do bc Amy and I are ummmm….. close.  Amy and Emily say “Go buy our new album!  It released today.”

 

I say “Poseidon and the Bitter Bug?  Really?  Is that what you’re calling this thing?”  Well, I would buy it if it were called Amy Ray Reads the Phone Book, so I shouldn’t feign criticism.  I’m sure I’ll understand the beauty of the whole thing once I’m into the album.  For now, I’m just excited that my girlfriend has a new album out.  Also a bit bummed that I am no longer in Atlanta as they were signing CDs and playing a few of the songs at Criminal Records this afternoon.  The stalking opportunities that I’ve missed from leaving my home town.  It’s really a shame.

 

I’ve Been Thinkin’ Sunday March 22, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 8:27 pm

The last few weeks have been spent largely in my head.  Thinking, over-thinking, analyzing, over-analyzing….. you know the drill.  Not pretty.   The good news is that I’m fairly certain that I’m emerging from the mental fog.  The weekend has been a good one and all signs points to mental health.  Hooray for that.

Throughout the recent fogginess, I’ve had a line from (strange as it may seem) Martha Graham running through my head at unexpected intervals.  I encountered this quote in a book called The Art of Possibility (Zander & Zander), which I was required to read in an Org Development class in graduate school.  I’m including it here because it has been such a powerful challenge for me.  Sometimes a wake up call, sometimes a battle cry.  Always a nudge.  A push in the right direction.

There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time this expression is unique. and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it! It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” —Martha Graham


 

Happy Birthday to my Partner in Crime Tuesday March 17, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 4:05 pm

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So I Have this Thing For Rightward Looking Brittish Intellectuals Sunday March 15, 2009

Filed under: Books — The Professor @ 8:08 pm

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I’ve found a new (to me) writer and I’m feeling myself get excited about books again.  I’ve missed that in the last few months and it feels good to have that energy back.  In fact, I was pulling out old favorites this afternoon bc reading Amy Bloom has given me a little taste of some old friends whom I haven’t visited in a while.  My two oldest dearest favorites are Virgina Woolf (L) and Jeanette Winterson (R).  I ran across this picture of JW on her website and it  immediately reminded me of Ms. Woolf.  Kind of makes you wonder what’s going on over there, doesn’t it? 

 

At any rate, this afternoon I was skimming Written on the Body and remembering how much this story meant to me as a high schooler.  I devoured this book.  Everything that both of these women wrote really.  They sustained me, helped me make sense of the world.  So, I’m including the last paragraph of the book here because it continues to be the best ending that I have ever read.

 

This is where the story starts, in this threadbare room.  The walls are exploding.  The windows have turned into telescopes.  Moons and stars are magnified in this room.  The sun hangs over the mantelpiece.  I stretch out my hand and reach the corners of the world.  The world in bundled up in this room.  Beyond the door, where the river is, where the roads are, we shall be.  We can take the world with us when we go and sling the sun under your arm.  Hurry now, it’s getting late.  I don’t know if this is a happy ending, but here we are let loose in open fields.

 

Stand Back People!! Saturday March 14, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 8:11 pm

img_0314I LOVE this picture of Gadget.  That little man knows how to let it out.  I could use just a smidge of that.  Last week was my Spring Break – a time for rest and relaxation, right?  Not for me.  I have never really made friends with rest and relaxation and they are holding a grudge.  The week started out on the right note with a surprise visit from everybody’s favorite baby, Bella.  She was accompanied by her parents who I couldn’t have been happier to see.  They arrived on Friday night and stayed through Monday afternoon.  We hadn’t seen them since December and man did that little girl grow.  This visit hit me hard.  I loved every minute that we had together.  Loved the walks and the Bella feedings and the cheese dip and the Little Miss Sunshine laughs and the conversations and the ease of the whole thing.  Mostly I loved the ease.  The solidity of our friendship.  The weight it will bear.  T and I met during our freshman year in college when we lived across the hall from one another.  She started dating Z that same year, so I got to know them as a couple.  It’s been 13 years now.  The visit hit me hard because on Monday they left.  They went back home to Atlanta and I don’t live in Atlanta anymore.  This is certainly not new news, but it hit below the belt this week.  Toad is drowning in a six month board study marathon and I am fending for myself.  Sounds pretty pathetic, doesn’t it?  Well, it has felt true this week.  Sure, I have a job that I could throw myself into, but really…..is that gonna happen??!  I think not.  So, I’m left with Gadget and Baker and a lot of questions and insecurities about how I manage relationships.  Lovely.

 

It’s Just True Monday March 2, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 9:18 pm

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
Thornton Wilder

My life is rich with treasure.  I try to take the time to remember this each day, but sometimes life just gets busy.   Sometimes I don’t make the space to really feel all of it.   Today, home on a snow day, the truth of all of my treasure felt particularly close.  And when truth feels close, you know it’s time to make a list.

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1. A girl and her dog. From my cozy spot on the couch this AM I saw Toad coming up the street after her snowy run.  A couple of minutes passed and I thought “Where is she?  Isn’t she cold out there?”.  So, I got up from my nest to check things out.  I found Kate in the snow making what I thought was a snowman.  It was actually a snow dog, which became clear soon.  Watching her work in her serious and yet joyful way just made me smile.  And of course…take a picture.

2. Weekend getaways. In the midst of the insanity of Toad’s board study and my adventure with three new class preps, we decided to hit the road last weekend.  Work responsibilities have been sucking up all of the air around here since January, so driving away from all of it felt great.  We dropped Baker off with his grandparents and spent two nights in our favorite place.  We met in Asheville and it’s always been a special place for us.  This weekend we parked the car at our favorite hotel in the middle of downtown and didn’t get back in until it was time to come home on Sunday.  Love that.  There was sleeping late, a movie at the Fine Arts Theatre (The Wrestler), wandering through the little hippie shops (Toad FINALLY has a pair of Frye boots), camping out in the coffee shop at Mallaprop’s planning our summer honeymoon,  yummy meals at our favorite spots (Laughing Seed Cafe & Green Sage), running through the neighborhoods and even church with the UUs.  None of the activity list really mattered though.  What did matter was that we had time for us.  Beyond the books and the jobs and the scheduling and the pets and the friends and the family.  Just the two of us.  Man, did that feel good.  Does she feel good.  A treasure for sure.

3. Employment.  Not only do we both have jobs, but we both have jobs that we like more days than we don’t.  No small thing.  Given the current state of the economy, I’m even more grateful that I landed a tenure-track job.  That I have some measure of stability.  Probably not really all that much, but it’s something.  Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I left a tenure-track job that I was happy with and managed to find another.  It’s actually really hard to believe.  At the same time though, I knew that leaving that job and moving here was right.  It was the the flow my life was taking and I had to go with it.  Life was here with this girl and I guess the universe agreed.  Grateful doesn’t really cover it.

4. Friends.  A few days ago I got an email that said: “I’m taking Friday off and we’re coming for the weekend”.  That message felt like a deep breath.  T and Z and Bella are coming for the weekend and I couldn’t be more excited.  Knowing that on Friday I will be able to squeeze that little girl and see how big she’s gotten.  That I will get to spend two whole days with her parents.  Talking and cooking and laughing and just being together in the same place.  Again, treasure only scratches the surface.

5. Pets.  There is just nothing as real as an animal.  What you see is what you get.  I love that.  I love Gadget and Baker.  They don’t love one another, but they make it work.  The last few weeks have been pretty Baker focused.  Lots of walks and snuggling in bed and tricks and trips in the car.  Getting to know each other and really bonding.  Although irritated, Gadget has been patient with his housemate.  Making the basement his home base and venturing upstairs when the mood strikes.  Not exactly the Welcome Wagon, but nobody is really acting ugly (still a little nervous about the possibility here).  Baker will be with his grandparents until Wednesday, so today the coast was clear for Gadget.  It has been great to have the little man around.  We’ve spent most of the day together and I’ve really enjoyed it.  I’ll be thrilled to see Baker on Wednesday, but I plan to soak up as much Gadget as I can in his absence.