Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

Can you say “OVERWHELMED”??!! Wednesday September 30, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 12:11 pm

I can.

I can also say “blogging at work”.  Watch me go.

I am aware that the mentally healthy claim that it is best to go with the flow and make friends with change.  To embrace the new and bend flexibly like a little tree.  Well….. I am NOT a tree and I am certainly not all that flexible.  I try to be flexible and zen and only mildly neurotic, but the truth is that I am a very happy creature of habit.  I love order and stability.  It comforts me.  Unfortunately, this is not a season of stability in my life.  It is very decidedly a season of change.  Intellectually I get that and I’m even grateful for it.  Emotionally…. not so much.  Life is a “one day at a time” kind of gig and this day will pass.  I will not feel the fear that comes with uncertainty for me forever.  Yet another thing that I know in my head, but am not feeling in my heart.

My mildly neurotic self would like to create a tidy, ordered list of all the things that are totally outside of my control at this moment.  I’m letting her have her way.

  • My horrible, terrible, no good, very bad job and the fact that I feel that way about it AND spent 22 years preparing for it
  • Whether all of the time and money and emotional energy that have been invested in baby-making this cycle will result in a pregnancy
  • Whether my wife will get a job offer anytime soon
  • Where I will be living next fall
  • Where/if I will be working next fall
  • My brother in law who let us know this AM that he plans to visit next week
  • The state of my local support system which feels nonexistent as the result of the loss of a close friend.  Not a loss due to death, but a loss due to unbloggable circumstances.
  • The fact that Toad has been jacked up on fertility meds for the last three months.  She’s a trooper, but I still want my wife back.
  • I think that does it.
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Romance is Relative Saturday September 26, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 4:14 pm

It is STILL raining at my house and it’s getting to me.  In a big way.  I’ve decided to try to embrace the weather and create a cozy evening at home.  Toad is on call this weekend and she’s been out and about for much of the day, so I’ve buzzed around cleaning the house, shopping for dinner and finding a good, snuggle on the couch movie.   I’m not exactly the romantic type, but I wanted to try to make the evening special.  It’s been pretty hectic around here lately, so I wanted to take the opportunity to slow down and show my wife a little love.  Happily I found the perfect special touch as I was scanning through the wine.  Talus!  It’s her favorite bone and somebody named a wine in its honor.  Is it weird that I happen to know that she not only has a favorite bone, but what that bone is?  Yes.  Will she feel loved and get a good laugh out if it?  Definitely.  Cheers!

Talus_pinot_noir_VinDePay_NV_750_800pix

 

Anybody Watching Top Chef? Friday September 25, 2009

Filed under: Movies and TV — The Professor @ 5:46 pm

Top-Chef-Ashley

I AM!!!!  Go Ashley go!

 

Tuesday Daybook Wednesday September 23, 2009

Filed under: Daybook — The Professor @ 12:57 pm

Outside my window…. it is STILL grey and drizzly.  While we are not flooded or being washed away like the people in Atlanta, I am still long past over this weather.  Enough.  Really.

I am thinking… that PMS gets worse with age.  At least for me.

I am thankful for… the majority of my life in which I am an optimistic and hopeful person.

From the kitchen…. Kitchen?  I have a kitchen?

I am wearing… a pink, button down shirt with grey pants a black belt and black Danskos.  Oh and cute, stripy pink socks.  The socks are the best part.  By far.

I am reading… about training and development.  Fascinating

I am hoping… for a baby and job that doesn’t make me want to scream on a daily basis.

I am creating… entirely too much negativity.

I am praying… for stillness.

Around the house… there are most certainly pets sleeping.

One of my favorite things… the sun.

A “picture thought I’m sharing…will have to wait.  I’m at work and there are no pictures at work.

 

A Weekend to Recover from the Weekend Monday September 21, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 8:58 pm

Is that so much to ask for?  I need it.  It’s that simple.  It was a fabulous weekend, but it wore me out.

After four days of drizzle, drear, wet walks with Baker, and bad hair; I had had enough.  It was time to take the Ark down to Atlanta for even more rain.  The drive was slow and yucky, but we made it safely.  The constancy of the rain didn’t manage to touch the fun once we arrived.  We got to see a smiley, pajamaed Bella when we got to town and then it was off for my (public) date with Ms. Ray.  Did I mention that it was an “outdoor/rain or shine/hey, the musicians are covered” kind of a concert?  Well, it was.  No matter.  We came with our rain jackets, picnic supplies, wine bottles and a tarp to hold over our heads if things got really dicey.  There were probably a maximum of 20 minutes during the whole evening when it wasn’t raining, but it never actually downpoured.  Not bad.  It was a lot of fun once you just accepted the fact that being cute wasn’t really an option bc you were going to be wet and moderately uncomfortable.  Life goes on.

The show was great!  Amy wore her special (read: terrible) red plaid pants and they played Fugitive which is a high school favorite of mine and one they don’t do that often.  Toad was happy to hear Kid Fears and T even got The Wood Song.  It was a good night.

The next AM T invited some old Atlanta friends over for brunch.  There were 5 kids, 6 adults, 2 cats, 1 dog and LOTS of breakfast food.  It was my kind of morning.  I was thrilled that T thought of the idea AND that everyone was able to make it.  It felt good to visit and catch up and see how big kids have gotten in the two years that I’ve been gone.  Sometimes Old Home Week is just what you need.

The drive back was wetter and drearier than the ride there, but about 30 minutes from home the sun came out.  Almost like magic.  A nice welcome home.  An extra day before having to go back to work would have been nicer, but the sun was pretty good.

 

Tuesday Daybook on Wednesday 9/16/09 Wednesday September 16, 2009

Filed under: Daybook — The Professor @ 6:33 pm

Outside my window….it is grey and rainy.  The kind of rain I don’t like.  The lazy, uninterested, drizzly, “this is hardly worth the effort” kind of rain.  Not a fan.  A storm is one thing, a pathetic little drizzle is quite another.

I am thinking… that dinner would be nice.

I am thankful for… the fact that none of my colleagues are armed.  Yeah.  I said it.

From the kitchen…. see #2 above.

I am wearing… jeans, a green shirt and sandals.  Variety is not the spice in my clothing life.

I am reading… Testimony by Anita Shreve.  I guess it’s a chick lit kind of month.  I saw this at the library and grabbed it on impulse.  I’m not sure why, but I’m into it.  The only other book of hers I’ve read is The Pilot’s Wife and I didn’t like it all that much.  Since reading that, I’ve passed her by.  Maybe the tide is turning with me and Ms. Shreve.  It’s a quick read, but an interesting one.

I am hoping… that we get this job.

I am creating… enough optimism for everyone as we WAIT to hear back from the employer of choice.

I am praying… for patience and babies.  Oh wait.  Baby.

Around the house… Toad is back from the gym and cleaning up for the evening.  I should be prepping class tmw, but have decided to blog instead.  The pets are asleep.  Of course they are.

One of my favorite things… is certainty.  Not a lot of that going around.

A “picture thought I’m sharing… They said it couldn’t be done, but look at the love.  As I got out of the shower earlier this week, I walked into the bedroom to find this.  Baker and Gadget sharing the foot of the bed and almost looking like they were enjoying one another’s company.  I HAD to grab the camera.  It has taken us almost 9 months, but patience is rewarded.  Give peace a chance people.

A Little Miracle

 

First Anniversary Sunday September 13, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 8:29 pm

Lots of love to my beautiful wife.  It’s been a great year.  We got the cake out of the freezer tonight and it was nowhere near as compelling as it obviously was one year ago today.

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