Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

Year in Review Thursday December 31, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 4:05 pm

2009 has been quite a year.  A great year in fact.  Maybe I’ve been watching too much of the Today show, but I’m gripped with a desire to look back and remember the year.  The best approach?  Why, lists of course!

Big Events

  • We added Baker to our family in January
  • Toad passed her written boards at the end of May and is now a Board Certified physician
  • The Professor passed the Professional Human Resource Professional exam
  • Toad completed her residency at the end of June and began her fellowship in July
  • We took a honeymoon trip to the Pacific Northwest at the end of June
  • We celebrated our first wedding anniversary in September
  • Toad got a great job offer and we will be moving next summer
  • We became official members of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in October
  • The Professor applied to a Masters program in Counseling

In the Speakers

  • Frightened Rabbit (Heads Roll Off, Modern Leper, The Twist)
  • Bowerbirds (Olive Hearts , In Our Talons)
  • Brandi Carlile (Looking Out, Before it Breaks, That Year, Caroline)
  • Bell X1 (The Great Defector)
  • Conor Oberst (I Don’t Want to Die in a Hospital)

Favorite Movies and TV of the Year

  • Dexter (Showtime)
  • In Treatment (HBO)
  • Top Chef
  • Biggest Loser
  • Gran Torino

Favorite Books Read this Year

  • The Seekers Guide Elizabeth Lesser
  • Dark Nights of the Soul Thomas Moore
  • American Wife Curtis Sittenfeld
  • Strange Piece of Paradise Terri Jentz
  • Julie & Julia Julie Powell

The Hard Stuff AKA Opportunities for Growth

  • Trying to get pregnant
  • Gadget trouble
  • Finding the lesson in a soul crushing job
  • High-stakes tests and long hours of call
  • Finding our way into new family roles as a married couple

The Easy Stuff AKA The Blessings

  • My wife and how much she really loves me
  • Our little family (Baker, Gadget, Toad and the Professor)
  • Our big family (Professor Mom & Dad, Toad Mom & Dad, Z, T, and Bella, Toad Brother and Sister-in-Law)
  • The great town we live in

On that note, bye 2009!  2010 here we come!!!


My Wife Got a Job and I Got…… Wednesday December 30, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 9:09 am

A new car!!!  I am so excited.  I’ve always talked about this car in that way that you talk about something you never think you’ll get.  A Subaru Outback.  Perfect for a dog and a kid and a girl obsessed with safety.  Looking towards a move and a baby, we’ve talked about cars more than usual during the last few months.  Toad has been researching this and that and talking about money as it relates to a mortgage and a new car, but she’s always planning and thinking and organizing and I didn’t think anything unusual was going on.  But, on Christmas morning I found an Outback brochure in my stocking!  Shut up!  Five days later I still can’t believe it.

We’ve spent the last few days getting everything in order and making decisions about color and interior and all of that.  Last night, I drove off the lot with my new car.  I still can’t believe it.


Love Tuesday December 29, 2009

Filed under: Family — The Professor @ 8:17 am

this girl.  Bella has taken her parents to Oregon for Christmas.  They are celebrating with Z’s family and it sounds like everyone is enjoying the visit.  Toad and I have missed our niece though.  We’ve got to get this holiday visit thing figured out.


The Friend Who Got Away Monday December 28, 2009

Filed under: Books,Daily Life,Friends — The Professor @ 6:21 pm

The loss of a friendship can be nearly as painful as a bitter divorce or a death.  And yet is a strange sort of heartbreak, one that is rarely discussed, even in our tell-all society.  Tales of disastrous love abound, but there is something about a failed friendship that makes those involved guard it like a shameful secret.  Whatever happened to your friend? someone asks and more often than not the answer comes back carefully crafted to give away nothing. We had a falling out.  It’s complicated. – An excerpt from the Foreword

I found this book while browsing through the stacks at the library recently.  I was looking for a new book about running for Toad (Born to Run Christopher McDougall) and I’d managed to wander into the psychology section.  That always seems to happen to me.  As I was scanning through quickly, this book caught my eye.  It was the last on its row so I could see the cover and it looked a lot like that book I Don’t Know How She Does It that I read as a grad student wondering how in the world I would have a career and a family and a room of my own and all of that.  Still haven’t figured it out and that book certainly didn’t help, but they look quite a bit alike, don’t they?

At any rate, I picked it up because it sounded like a good idea for a book and I’m on semester break and I found the cover fairly appealing.  Also, looking at the TOC I found that Dorothy Allison was involved with the project and I love her.  Although I haven’t made it all the way through, I am certainly glad I stumbled on this one.  It has turned out to be just the thing.  I had expected it would be a bit more chick lit/skating the surface/light than the stories I have read actually are.  There is substance here and I’m grateful for it.

Relationships are hard.  Relationships between women seem particularly complex and I’m glad that a bunch of writers came together to reflect on and share their own experiences.  This kind of thing is really helpful to me.  Healing.  It’s one of the reasons I love reading as much as I do.  Listening to these women tell their stories, it’s possible to uncover some thread of connection, some meaning.  Or at least to imagine that there might be one.  I have two stories of my own and maybe someday I will figure them out.  Maybe.  For now, they just rest in the background.  Sometimes silent and sometimes shouting with no pattern that I can predict.

Recently a friend who got away and then came back (I guess she almost got away – tee hee) got a Facebook message from her own childhood friend.  A girl who was as close as her own sister until she got away almost 10 years ago.  They have had no contact in all of that time and now….. who knows?  They are going to try again.  Brave.


Having a FABULOUS Christmas Friday December 25, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life,Family — The Professor @ 2:43 pm

The weather is gloomy, but after the fall we’ve had, we’re used to drear, so sleety rain can’t touch us.  Bring it weather gods; we ain’t scared.  It may be grey, but all is merry and bright at our house.  We’ve made the family phone calls and opened the gifts.  The pets really cleaned up this year.  Gadget got a sexy new lavender collar with a broken clasp.  Opps.  Not sure how that happened.  We noticed the broken clasp after tossing the old collar in the trash, so the little man is traipsing around the house just as naked as a jaybird.  (Yes, I am from the South).  He’s just cute, he can’t help it.  Baker is the recipient of an assortment of ridiculously expensive organic dog treats involving peanut butter.  He seemed pretty pumped, but not quite pumped enough given how good they looked.  He’s lucky I didn’t eat them first.  Toad and I had fun with our stockings in which we found Mocha Merriment coffee, warm/stripy socks, an assortment of lotions (me) and a knife sharpener, assorted gum and Counter Culture decaf (Toad).

We’ve spent the last few hours working on our puzzle, which is turning out to be harder than I thought and a tad bigger than our table, while listening to Christmas music.  I think we’re both about done with the Christmas music and the puzzle actually.  You can only take so much of that.  Soon we will be headed out to the theater to see this movie:

Nine.  Finally a movie that looks good in the theater!  I’m been excited about this movie since I first heard about it.  Hoping it’s fun.  We’ve got pizza dough made and doing whatever it is that dough does.  Is it called resting or is that what meat does?  Whatever it’s called, it should be ready when we get home and we will be making a butternut squash pizza with ricotta for Christmas dinner.  Yum.  Nothing like honoring tradition, eh?  We do have a theme though.  2009 has been the year of the butternut squash.


Ho, Ho, Ho!! Wednesday December 23, 2009

Filed under: Family — The Professor @ 7:13 pm

Toad will be spending the next two days HOME with us and it’s starting to feel a lot like Christmas.  Gadget has surprised us all by snuggling into the tree skirt among the gifts and just admiring the tree.  I haven’t seen one bat at an ornament.  Either he’s growing up or he read my recent blog post.  Hoping for the former…

We decided to go on a relaxing trip in January when Toad finally gets some time off instead of exchanging gifts this year, but we have ended up with a few things under the tree.  It’s hard to resist.  Baker and Gadget both have full stockings and I’ve gotten the house ready for baking  tmw.  We’re going to bake cookies, put on our little elf costumes (figuratively) and deliver goodies to friends who are also in town.  I bought a puzzle at Target the other day and I think we’ll start in on that in the morning too.  Not sure what possessed me with that one, but I’m suddenly into puzzles.

It might have come late in the season, but I’m suddenly feeling very festive.  Christmas here we come!


I Think This is a Record Sunday December 20, 2009

Filed under: Daily Life — The Professor @ 6:04 pm

At least since graduating from college.  I’m coming close to the end of three full days in my pajamas.  I should probably mention that today’s pj’s are clean.  After Friday and Saturday spent in my favorite grey fuzzy pair, this AM I decided it was time for something new.  It was really the least I could do.  Unfortunately, I can’t say that I’m sick or that I have any broken limbs.  All I can say is that it snowed pretty significantly on Friday and there is still icy slush on the road.  I’m celebrating new laziness lows.

The snow on Friday afternoon brought me an early Christmas present.  It might be the best gift I receive this year.  Fall graduation was cancelled!!  I still can hardly believe my luck.  A good four and a half hours of my life returned to me.  Thrilling.  I was so excited that I decided to go for a long run.  When I left the house it was cold, but there was no sign of rain or sleet or anything else.  About three miles in, it started sleeting.  Cold and sharp on my face.  I ran by a middle school as the buses were headed out early and it seemed like the whole town was headed for home.  Once I got past five miles it was definitely snowing and the roads were feeling slick.  That slowed me down quite a bit, but I managed to wander 10 miles around town as the weather changed from regular Friday afternoon to Major Winter Weather event.  This is what I like about running; experiencing the world in such an interesting way.

That run was the last significant thing I have accomplished.  Since then, I have been reading, watching movies (Seven Pounds, Ratatouile, Primal Fear) and beating Toad at Trivial Pursuit.  Together we have eaten way too many cookies and schools and schools of goldfish.  I have a personal statement to write, but I keep reminding myself that the application deadline isn’t until the 31st.  Why rush?  I’m exhausted from my own laziness.