Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

The Second Week in April Monday April 18, 2011

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Friends,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 8:50 am

It’s been a pretty good week around here.

Dad had his first round of chemo that ran from Monday through Thursday and he handled it like a champ.   No more drugs for the next three weeks while his body rests.  He will follow this schedule each month through October.

The week was filled with the regular schedule of feedings and walks and naps and playing with toys and grocery shopping and cooking and laundry.  On Monday I kicked off my new early morning writing initiative by setting the alarm for 5:15 and writing for a an hour before the day officially begins.  I got this idea from my NaNoWriMo mentor Mallory and I’m loving it so far.  She calls it the Power Hour and if you have a writing interest yourself you should check out her blog bc she has tons of great resources and a fictional blog called The Stretch Mark Club that she kicked off last week.

On Wednesday we had our first visit with a big kid (a two year old) and both of us had a blast.  Bean got to play with all sorts of new toys and I got to hang out with a more experienced Mommy.  It’s nice to have parenting talk with someone who isn’t in the same place you are.  Yeah, we’ll be doing that again for sure.

This weekend we did something new.  Toad, Bean and Baker headed out of town on Thursday night for the grandparents house and I stayed behind for a scrappy weekend with T.  This was my first time away from my family since Bean was born eight months ago.  It was pretty strange.  Visiting with T was fabulous and getting tons of scrapping done (I FINALLY finished our wedding album – from 2008) was lots of fun, but three days without my little tree frog was a long time.  Seeing that smiling face in the backseat when they pulled into the garage Sunday afternoon was a beautiful thing indeed.

The weekend did underscore just how long it had been since my last BFF visit and I’m so glad that we made it happen.  It wasn’t a long visit, but we made every second count.

This is Bean hanging out in the baby Adirondack chair Grandpa made for him.


The First Week in September Saturday September 11, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Friends,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 3:52 pm

Long time, no blog.  Got to get back into the writing swing.  Here’s a look at what we’ve been up to.

Leslie and Garrett came for a visit over the Labor Day weekend and we were really glad to see them.  They were eager to meet Bean and I think he was pretty excited to put a face to the voice he’d heard on so many early morning runs.  By the time they arrived Toad and Bean were settling into a nice breastfeeding groove, so everyone (read me) was calm and rested.  The weather was beautiful and the six of us got outside for some good walks.  On the last night of their visit we were able to go out to our favorite happy cow burger joint and the Grabs (and Bean actually) loved the place just as much as we do.  We had some good local beer, fried pickles, burgers and fries all while Bean slept soundly in his bucket.  Happy Momma.

Although we are both thrilled with the way that Baker has been handling the changes around here, it hasn’t been easy.  We’ve seen some evidence of jealousy and a few surprise break-ins to trash cans and the changing table drawers when the three of us have left him in the house alone.  This is another reason why the Grabs’ visit was so fabulous.  Baker got lots and lots of attention from his old buddy Garrett.  They had a number of deep and meaningful conversations like the one captured below.  Good times.

Also during their visit, Bean had his first photo shoot.  The father of a friend of ours is an amazing photographer and he came to our house to take some shots of the newborn Bean.  What a hoot that whole experience was.  Getting a picture with open eyes in which the boy didn’t look like a manic orchestra conductor was not an easy task.  Happily, the photographer was super patient and Les and Garrett were available to walk the nosy/take a picture of me! Baker.  After more than an hour of diaper changing, baby jostling, and change rattling, I think we got some keepers.

Gran and Pops arrived for a spend the night party on Wednesday afternoon.  Bean has been opening his eyes and being awake for longer stretches and his grandparents definitely enjoyed getting to see those big blue eyes.  Although our air mattress has not lived up to the expectations I had for it, Pops didn’t quite make it all the way to floor level by morning.  Overall, the visit was a fun one.

When we haven’t been playing with our friends, changing diapers, washing clothes, feeding Bean, going for walks or sleeping, we have been watching the US Open.  This is a surprising development for me as I know nothing about the game.  Nothing.  After watching faithfully for the last little bit, I think I not only sort-of understand the game, but like it.  I REALLY like this guy:

If you don’t know him, this is Raphael Nadal.  It might not be the greatest “tennis champion” shot, but it shows what I like about the guy.  Yes, he is an excellent athlete but he also really seems to be a good guy.  Don’t you think there is a sweetness about his face?  He seems to be both hardworking and respectful of his opponents.  I think the guy is a good role model for my son.

I’ll leave you with a lovely picture of my three favorite people.


The Friend Who Got Away Monday December 28, 2009

Filed under: Books,Daily Life,Friends — The Professor @ 6:21 pm

The loss of a friendship can be nearly as painful as a bitter divorce or a death.  And yet is a strange sort of heartbreak, one that is rarely discussed, even in our tell-all society.  Tales of disastrous love abound, but there is something about a failed friendship that makes those involved guard it like a shameful secret.  Whatever happened to your friend? someone asks and more often than not the answer comes back carefully crafted to give away nothing. We had a falling out.  It’s complicated. – An excerpt from the Foreword

I found this book while browsing through the stacks at the library recently.  I was looking for a new book about running for Toad (Born to Run Christopher McDougall) and I’d managed to wander into the psychology section.  That always seems to happen to me.  As I was scanning through quickly, this book caught my eye.  It was the last on its row so I could see the cover and it looked a lot like that book I Don’t Know How She Does It that I read as a grad student wondering how in the world I would have a career and a family and a room of my own and all of that.  Still haven’t figured it out and that book certainly didn’t help, but they look quite a bit alike, don’t they?

At any rate, I picked it up because it sounded like a good idea for a book and I’m on semester break and I found the cover fairly appealing.  Also, looking at the TOC I found that Dorothy Allison was involved with the project and I love her.  Although I haven’t made it all the way through, I am certainly glad I stumbled on this one.  It has turned out to be just the thing.  I had expected it would be a bit more chick lit/skating the surface/light than the stories I have read actually are.  There is substance here and I’m grateful for it.

Relationships are hard.  Relationships between women seem particularly complex and I’m glad that a bunch of writers came together to reflect on and share their own experiences.  This kind of thing is really helpful to me.  Healing.  It’s one of the reasons I love reading as much as I do.  Listening to these women tell their stories, it’s possible to uncover some thread of connection, some meaning.  Or at least to imagine that there might be one.  I have two stories of my own and maybe someday I will figure them out.  Maybe.  For now, they just rest in the background.  Sometimes silent and sometimes shouting with no pattern that I can predict.

Recently a friend who got away and then came back (I guess she almost got away – tee hee) got a Facebook message from her own childhood friend.  A girl who was as close as her own sister until she got away almost 10 years ago.  They have had no contact in all of that time and now….. who knows?  They are going to try again.  Brave.


Since Last Time Friday December 5, 2008

Filed under: Daily Life,Friends — The Professor @ 4:43 pm


I  got to see this little turkey at Thanksgiving.  Miss Bella continues to be a star.  She’s working on teeth and generally bein’ cool.  The AM we arrived I came downstairs to find her hard at work in her office.  Well, it’s not actually an office.  It’s more of an excer-saucer, but the girl was busy.  She was not kidding around.  She had things to do.  Clearly.  It was also great fun to see her parents.  We all introduced Toad to The Melting Pot and I think she was into it.  Who wouldn’t love cheese and chocolate and wine?  It was a yummy dinner filled with talk of babies and married life and jobs and….. the realization that we’re all growing up.  We’re not just making plans anymore.  We’re doing it.


We spent the second half of Thanksgiving with Toad’s family.  In an RV.  How funny is that?  There was no room in the house, so they found a friend with an RV who was willing to park it on their property.  We didn’t actually spend Thanksgiving in an RV, we only slept in the RV, but the story is so much better that way.  When we weren’t in the RV we were visiting with everyone, playing with the dogs, eating way too much food, sitting in the hot tub and generally enjoying our first married holiday.  


I have spent the last week in MS.  My Mom had surgery on Monday and I was so glad to be able to be there.  I have alot of trauma about my Mom and hospitals and words like “cancer”, but we made it through.  Together.  That felt good.  She’s still in the hospital, but the doctor thinks she should be ready to go home as soon as tmw.  I hope he’s right.


Happy Birthday Friend!! Thursday August 28, 2008

Filed under: Friends — The Professor @ 9:25 pm


Today my most fabulous T turns 30.  You know that you have a good friend when:

  • YOU get a call on HER birthday
  • She’s willing to watch Hedwig with you one more time
  • She sends you cards that are sometimes funny and sometimes sweet, for no reason at all
  • You come home from a visit at her house to discover that she has conducted a photo shoot (with your camera) featuring the hind quarters of her daughters’ toys (see selections above) bc she knew it would make you laugh
  • You occasionally hear things like “Sure, we’d love to go to Mellow Mushroom with you again this week”
  • She brings cake to your house for your Mom’s birthday
  • She laughs at every single one of your jokes
  • She doesn’t freak out when you cry and she would never let you do it alone
  • She always takes you seriously, even when you’re kind of wondering yourself
  • Every time she hears that thing in your voice, she immediately says “You know, it wouldn’t take me that long to get there.”

That’s love.