Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

The Third Week of July Wednesday July 28, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Movies and TV,Music,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 6:16 pm

I’m running a little late this week, gotta get it down before I forget…

The major event of the week (one that I am sure not to forget) was our OB appt and subsequent scan.  It’s official.  Bean is breech.  Stubbornly, unlikely to turn, likely to require c-section, breech.  Lovely.  Surprisingly (at least to me), Toad is handling this news more gracefully than I.  Something about this pregnancy has lulled her into a go-with-the-flow, Type B kind of a vibe.  Me?  Not so much.  I’m still working the Type A pretty hard and I’m thinking this baby better start behaving.  Everyone in the know seems to think that I am unlikely to get what I want.  Let this parenting gig begin…

On Wednesday we met with our new attorney who will be guiding us through the 2nd parent adoption process.  I knew it was going to be a great match when two of her dogs greeted us at her office door.  The meeting just got better from there.  All three of us hit it off and by the time we left her office, we had a date.  Also….. she has two daughters who are prime babysitting age.  Score!

And the date that we had, was with this lady:

And yes, she was wearing leather pants when we saw her as well.  Somehow neither Toad nor I have ever seen Melissa Etheridge in concert, until our friendly local attorney invited us to dinner and a show.  Fun!  I wasn’t kidding when I said the people here are friendly.

The only activity of the week that did not bear some relationship with the baby was the movie Inception.  Humm….what to say about this movie?  Interesting.  Considerably better than Knight and Day.  If the structure and function of dreams is something you find compelling, you should probably see it.  After all, it does include these two:


The Second Week of July Sunday July 18, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 2:19 pm

This week our new place actually started feeling like home.  The beginnings of comfort and familiarity.  This makes me SO happy.  I love comfort and familiarity. 😉

So, what were we up to?

During the early part of the week Toad spent some time doing things like this:

No, it’s probably not best for a woman in her 8th month of pregnancy to be playing on ladders, but hey… this is Toad.  The girl stops for no one.   I had my place in all of this of course and together we painted one wall of the dining room Seven Seas blue.  Toad wishes it were a few shades darker, but I think it’s quite nice.  As for Casa de Bean, all we lack is Bean his/herself.  The car seat arrived and Toad got it installed in the car in spite of temps in the high 90’s.  Since I knew I couldn’t talk her out of doing it, I just made sure she had lots of water for the effort.  We also got the baby monitor installed and it was fun to test it out a bit.   I am LOVING the lambs and in their final form they look like this:

The lambs are cute and the nursery is fabulous, but my wife is suddenly really being clubbed by this baby.  She has enjoyed an uneventful and fairly easy pregnancy, but in the last week or so the tides seem to be turning.  At least as far as “easy” goes.  She is always uncomfortable, she pays pretty dearly for absolutely every thing she eats (no matter how small the meal), there is NO space in her bladder, it’s hard for her to breathe and she’s started to itch.  Lovely.  I’m looking fwd to our OB appt next week.  I’m starting to wonder what’s going on here.  It’s probably all normal, but it’s such a shift from how she has felt.

On the social front, we’ve enjoyed two meals with friends.  We met the Jasper’s (W & M) at an Italian place where we INHALED a delicious pizza and gelato (one scoop of coffee and one of whipped cream).  Yum!  I will certainly be back.  Toad will work with M and I really like both of them.  W is also a psychologist who left academia and is now a SAHM to an almost 2-year-old.  If you can believe it, she is also pregnant and due just days after we are.  Yup.  We have alot in common and I’m looking fwd to getting to know them both.  Last night we met the Wisons (G &L) at our new favorite burger joint.  This place is GOOD and in walking distance from our house.  G & L also have an almost 2-year-old  and are pregnant with #2.  They are due late in February.

Happily, I’ve found a fabulous new hair guy.  His name is Lewis and I like what he did for my hair.  More importantly though, I love him.  He was thrilled to hear that I have a wife and a baby on the way and gave me lots of recommendations for everything from realtors to coffee shops to people we should meet around town.  I also got a good suggestion for someone that could cut Toad’s hair.  I think Lewis would irritate Toad as he is super spazzy, but I think he’s great.

Lastly, in preparation for Bean we decided to go to the theater for an animated movie.  Neither of us are big kid movie fans, but we’ve got to get ready.  We saw Despicable Me and now I want one of these:

I wasn’t really expecting much more than some air conditioning and a little popcorn, but I thought it was fun.  If I had read much about the movie I would have known that I would like it bc I LOVE the lovable grump.  Bottomline, it’s worth the money.  At least matinée money.


The First Week of May Monday May 10, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 7:10 am

This package arrived in the mail at the end of the week and it was from Bean!!!!  How cool is that?!  Thanks to my super fabulous mother-in-law, Toad and I got our first Mother’s Day surprise.  Verbena lotion for me and belly balm for her.  Such a fun surprise.

I taught absolutely nothing to anyone this week.  Not so bad actually.  Although classes are over, it’s not all behind me yet.  There were exams to give and papers to grade, so I’m still in professor mode for a bit longer.  In fact much of the week was spent in why oh why professor mode, which involves lots of internal growliness about the fact that I keep assigning 15-20 page final research papers in spite of the fact that I know that such behavior always leads to having  to actually read and critique those papers when the semester ends.  You would think I would learn.

Tuesday was Bean day.  Toad left the hospital a bit early for an OB appointment and all continues to be well.  Heartbeat sounds good (still in the 150’s) and we’re free and clear for another three weeks.  After the appointment we met a brave soul (who also happens to be a recent new Mom) who was willing to guide us through the stimulation overload that is:

Man.  That place is crazy.  How a person that small can possibly need all that stuff is pretty remarkable.  I’m going with it though.  Acknowledging how much I don’t know and keeping my eyes open seems like the best strategy for now.

On Wednesday night we had a cookout with our friends Jess and Trish.  They are planning a wedding and gearing up for all of the legal hoopla that we have been navigating, so we decided it would be a good idea to get together and pass some of that information along.  And while we were at it, we might as well have dinner.  At least, that’s how I saw it.  They have recently gotten a new grill and so we brought the bison (ground bison of course 😉 not the whole thing), they provided the veggies and the flame and a delicious (and informational) dinner was had by all.  I hate that we met these guys so close to the end of our time here.  We’ll miss them.

Friday night found us (surprise, surprise) on the couch eating our dinner from the Whole Foods bar and watching Lost, when a fabulous thing happened.  I FELT BEAN KICK!!!!  Hooray!  At 23 weeks and 1 day, I had my first physical connection with our baby.  It was the tiniest little nudge, but I felt it and it made my day, my week.  Very, very cool.

It was another lovely weekend in our part of the world.  We spent most of it outside, but on Saturday evening we headed indoors to see this movie:

Very cool.  I knew that Toad would love it for it’s adventure/mystery-ness and I had to see it bc I loved the book.  We were both quite happy.

Sunday was Mother’s Day which definitely felt different than it had before.  We both called our own Mothers and then we spent the rest of the day just talking about Bean and enjoying the day.  Toad took me out for brunch (I had a crab cake Benedict – yum!) and then we walked to the baseball stadium for an afternoon game.  Happy Mother’s Day for sure!


The Third Week of April Monday April 26, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Food Glorious Food,Movies and TV,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 2:04 pm

I am happy to report that the baby will not be going to the state if something terrible should happen to Toad and the Professor.  On Tuesday evening we signed our names a bunch of times, wrote a check (gulp) and left the attorney’s office with all sorts of fancy legal documents.  Of course, if you pay any attention to the news you know that all of this effort could be for nothing should just about anyone decide to refuse it.  It’s what we can do at this point in time though, so we’re doing it.  Toad is breathing much easier. 😉

On Thursday night I left my pregnant wife at home with the dog and went to a Wine Tasting dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in town.  My friend Jess had the idea and though I felt a little guilty about doing something so spendy without Toad, I got over it.  Ahhhhhhhh is the main thing I have to say about the evening.  Jess and I arrived to find that three of Toad’s colleagues and their wives/husbands were also in attendance.  Wasn’t expecting that.  Of course the wine starting coming pretty soon and the Aussie from the winery actually sat with Jess and I.  That turned out to be great fun as he had a fabulous accent and a very funny, down-to-earth way about him.  Throughout the evening we had five different wines (four white and one red) and all sorts of yummy food (shrimp, oysters, passionfruit sorbet and pork wrapped in bacon).  The wine came from Pikes Winery in the Clare Valley of southern Australia.  That area is known for its Riesling and I was surprised that it is a very dry Riesling, not at all the sweetish wine I think of.  The evening was lots of fun.  Food, wine and good conversation.  Happy.

The next day brought weekend visitors.  Toad’s brother and his wife arrived on Friday just in time for another movie festival flick.  This is the trailer from Casino Jack and the United States of Money, the movie that kicked off the weekend.  Wowza.  I knew that Jack Abramoff had created quite a fuss, but I had NO IDEA it was this bad….

Saturday morning brought a run with Baker and brunch on the patio at our local Latin restaurant.  We spent the afternoon wandering around town from one neighborhood block party to the next.  This town loves an outdoor festival in the Spring.  I think the New Yorkers were a little amused by the scope of our festivities (the block party was literally a block.  One), but it was a good afternoon for wandering.  Not all that sunny, but warmish.  We crashed at home early evening and settled in with delivery pizza and another movie.  This time it was The September Issue.  For reasons yet to be understood, my wife is fascinated by this woman:

Toad and Anna Wintour make a curious pair (she finds the fashion world appalling and I doubt that she has ever even leafed through an issue of Vogue), but since The Devil Wears Prada, she’s had her ears tuned for news of this woman.  It wasn’t a fabulous documentary, but it was certainly rentable.

If you can even BELIEVE it, Toad and her brother ran a trail race (a half marathon actually) on Sunday morning.  The 22nd week of pregnancy ain’t what it used to be people.  They braved rain and not a little thunder and wore identical grins at the finish.  He agreed to be her Sherpa (carrying water and snacks) and he promised me that he would keep her hydrated and watch her pace.  It made me so happy to hear him bragging about her later in the afternoon.  He said that whenever they would pass a guy he would yell “make way, pregnant lady coming through”.  I love that.

The afternoon brought ANOTHER movie (this time the Grabs joined us) and dinner at the wine bar.  I’m pretty sure that Toad and I were the only ones that enjoyed the movie, but we did.  Why did we enjoy it?  Two words.  Tilda Swinton.

The movie was called I am Love and it was just beautiful.  Not the greatest story ever told, but absolutely lovely.  Oh and there was Tilda Swinton.  Did I mention that?

Now it’s Monday and our visitors are on the road.  Ahhh….. life as usual.


The Second Week of April Monday April 19, 2010

Filed under: Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 12:29 pm

This was the kind of weekend that makes it hard to move.  We live in a FABULOUS little community.  I moved here three years ago and I’m so, so, so glad that I did.  I know there are great things ahead, but our little corner of the world feels so much like home it’s hard to imagine that our new spot could possibly feel so homey.

All right.  Enough of that.  What have we been up to during the second week of April?  The short answer is all sorts of things.

After our out-of-town adventure last weekend, we got back home to a busy, business-sy Tuesday.  Bean had her official anatomy scan (everything still looks great) and Toad had another brief chat with the OB.  Not a lot to discuss with those folks these days.  At 20 weeks, she’s feeling good and hasn’t gotten into the uncomfortable part of pregnancy yet.  And even I took my turn in the stirrups and it looks like all is well in Professor land.  With the exception of the fact that true to Dr. Toad’s expectations, my iron levels are indeed low, it looks like I’ll be around for another year.  Once everyone but Baker had interacted with a medical professional, it was time to meet with our friend Lee, the $$ man.  Toad and I are both VERY conservative in the money department and making a financial plan for our family (while TOTALLY necessary and useful) is NOT my idea of a pleasant way to spend the evening.  I don’t know what it is, but the topic is anxiety provoking.  In spite of all that, we made it through and got some usable ideas from Lee about smart timing and savings goals for the house purchase, life insurance avenues for Toad and to a lesser extent me, and retirement planning advice.  An evening well spent for sure.  And Lee is funny.  I like the guy.  That helps.

The remainder of the work week was fairly uneventful.  The Professor talked to a bunch a people who only half listened to her and Toad sat in a dark room interpreting x-rays, MRI’s and PET scans.  Business as usual.

But the weekend….ahhh the weekend.  Blue sky, warm temps and happy girls.  Bean participated in her 2nd race on Saturday morning when Toad ran in the local Hospice 10K that I blogged about last time.  I got up and headed to the lake for a 7 mile loop that I haven’t done in months.  The lake was beautiful and my first twinges of pre-emptive homesickness started as I made my way around.  A lot of important thoughts have been thought and conversations had at that lake.  I’ll miss it for sure.  We spent the afternoon wandering around the Earth Day Fair with the Grabs.  Learning about green construction and local CSA’s, listening to music and eating hummus wraps and gelato.  Toad even got to try out a recumbent bike, although it’s not so easy to pedal from a “lying on the couch” position.  Got some pictures of that that I’ll add later.  Funny stuff.  The only downer was that sunscreen never crossed my mind.  Opps.  Later that night on the couch while watching Lost and eating Whole Foods, my neck felt oddly warm and a quick trip to the bathroom revealed….. yup, a red neck.  Nice.

On Sunday we decided to do church at the lake.  We put Baker on the leash and made our way around, sometimes talking, sometimes just listening to the leaves and the water.  It’s been awhile since we’ve done that and it felt good to be together in that way.  We caught this hilarious documentary late in the afternoon because the local Film Fest is going on.

Hilarious!  Laughing in a cool dark theater after a weekend of running and walking and sun was just the thing and the movie really was great.  If you’ve never heard of the Topp Twins (which I hadn’t before yesterday), one of the comics interviewed in the film described them this way: “I remember a guy from New York ask me,  who’s the big comedy act in New Zealand, and I said ahh… some yodeling, lesbian twins.”  This is truly a joyful movie and if it comes anywhere near you, you should check it out.  In fact, I’ll add the trailer.

The weekend ended on the patio of our friends down the street.  After the movie, we strolled down to their house for Portobello burgers, guacamole, white wine (for me), and terrifying labor and delivery stories.  They have a 4-year-old and apparently, the memories are still strong.  Why do people do this?  It seems like some kind of terrible universal urge to scare the hell out of pregnant women.  Not ok.  We didn’t let it put too much of a damper on the weekend, although Toad did have a nightmare involving a pendulous flap of loose skin on her abdomen that no amount of exercise or surgery could remove.  Lovely.


The Last Week of March Sunday March 28, 2010

Filed under: Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 3:57 pm

It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon.  Toad has been out-of-town moonlighting since Saturday morning, and the house is quiet without her.  Baker and I will be very glad when she arrives this evening.  I will actually be much more excited than Baker as she will be bringing home Indian food for me.  I will be having Tandoori Chicken, Vegetable Korma, and Naan, while Bake will be having dog food.  I win!  Yum.

So, what’s been going on around here this week?

As I believe I have probably mentioned a time or two before 😉 , we will be moving this summer.  This means that things are pretty busy around here.  Pretty much every day there is the internet scan for suitable rental possibilities (gotta be convenient to the university, amenable to dogs, in a runable/walkable/strollerable neighborhood (read: sidewalks), and include enough comfortable space for guests – this is NOT easy to find), the slow pare down of the stuff we have in our current house (what do we REALLY need/want to take with us?),  and the sadness that we are leaving this town that we love.  This move is the right thing for our family for so many reasons, but we do love this place.  We got married here.  It won’t be easy to leave.

Although the move is taking up a lot of mental space, there is also the baby!  As of today, Toad is 17 weeks and 3 days along.  We had an OB appointment last week and although we got no new pictures (boo), everything looks great.  Beans’ heartbeat was in the 150s and the midwife said that in spite of the fact that somehow she is still not showing, Toad is gaining weight the way she should be.  We are happy with all of that.  Sounds like Bean is doing just what she need to be doing.

I am growing increasingly frustrated by the impossibility of nesting at this point.  Oh how wonderful it would be to start setting up a nursery like this…..

But…..we have no house.  So, nesting is a bit premature.  First things first.  Irritating.  Oh well, at least there is television.  This week we’ve been sucked into this show.

It’s official.  We are very late to the game, but Netflix has the first five seasons on Instant so we don’t even have to wait for the next disk.  Lost is our getaway mechanism of the moment.


LOVE is Not Too Strong a Word Wednesday October 7, 2009

Filed under: Movies and TV — The Professor @ 5:19 pm


It started with Juno.  How could anyone NOT have fallen in love with Ellen Page in Juno?  Her character was smart, she was funny, she knew who she was.  Ellen Page hit the publicity circuit and she seemed to be all of those things as well.  I was in.

Now there is Whip It.  A roller derby movie.  That alone is enough for me.  Aggressive women in fishnets and lots of eyeliner on roller skates?!  Sign me up.  I’m totally in.  Then I find out that Ellen Page plays the lead role.  It’s almost too much  to be true.  Toad and I saw the movie over the weekend and it was tons of fun.  It follows the familiar coming-of-age, breaking away from the parents and finding your own way script, but instead of the lead female becoming the star in a dance contest a la Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (LOVE that movie), this time the girl is rough and tumble and might just kick your ass.  She wears combat boots and isn’t afraid of a bruise.  She’s a very different kind of expression of what it means to be a powerful woman.  The whole thing just makes me happy and love is NOT too strong a word.