Blue in the Sky

A lesbian wife and mother tries her hand at something new. Surely there is a hat that fits out there somewhere!

The Third Week of July Wednesday July 28, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Movies and TV,Music,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 6:16 pm

I’m running a little late this week, gotta get it down before I forget…

The major event of the week (one that I am sure not to forget) was our OB appt and subsequent scan.  It’s official.  Bean is breech.  Stubbornly, unlikely to turn, likely to require c-section, breech.  Lovely.  Surprisingly (at least to me), Toad is handling this news more gracefully than I.  Something about this pregnancy has lulled her into a go-with-the-flow, Type B kind of a vibe.  Me?  Not so much.  I’m still working the Type A pretty hard and I’m thinking this baby better start behaving.  Everyone in the know seems to think that I am unlikely to get what I want.  Let this parenting gig begin…

On Wednesday we met with our new attorney who will be guiding us through the 2nd parent adoption process.  I knew it was going to be a great match when two of her dogs greeted us at her office door.  The meeting just got better from there.  All three of us hit it off and by the time we left her office, we had a date.  Also….. she has two daughters who are prime babysitting age.  Score!

And the date that we had, was with this lady:

And yes, she was wearing leather pants when we saw her as well.  Somehow neither Toad nor I have ever seen Melissa Etheridge in concert, until our friendly local attorney invited us to dinner and a show.  Fun!  I wasn’t kidding when I said the people here are friendly.

The only activity of the week that did not bear some relationship with the baby was the movie Inception.  Humm….what to say about this movie?  Interesting.  Considerably better than Knight and Day.  If the structure and function of dreams is something you find compelling, you should probably see it.  After all, it does include these two:


The Second Week of July Sunday July 18, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 2:19 pm

This week our new place actually started feeling like home.  The beginnings of comfort and familiarity.  This makes me SO happy.  I love comfort and familiarity. 😉

So, what were we up to?

During the early part of the week Toad spent some time doing things like this:

No, it’s probably not best for a woman in her 8th month of pregnancy to be playing on ladders, but hey… this is Toad.  The girl stops for no one.   I had my place in all of this of course and together we painted one wall of the dining room Seven Seas blue.  Toad wishes it were a few shades darker, but I think it’s quite nice.  As for Casa de Bean, all we lack is Bean his/herself.  The car seat arrived and Toad got it installed in the car in spite of temps in the high 90’s.  Since I knew I couldn’t talk her out of doing it, I just made sure she had lots of water for the effort.  We also got the baby monitor installed and it was fun to test it out a bit.   I am LOVING the lambs and in their final form they look like this:

The lambs are cute and the nursery is fabulous, but my wife is suddenly really being clubbed by this baby.  She has enjoyed an uneventful and fairly easy pregnancy, but in the last week or so the tides seem to be turning.  At least as far as “easy” goes.  She is always uncomfortable, she pays pretty dearly for absolutely every thing she eats (no matter how small the meal), there is NO space in her bladder, it’s hard for her to breathe and she’s started to itch.  Lovely.  I’m looking fwd to our OB appt next week.  I’m starting to wonder what’s going on here.  It’s probably all normal, but it’s such a shift from how she has felt.

On the social front, we’ve enjoyed two meals with friends.  We met the Jasper’s (W & M) at an Italian place where we INHALED a delicious pizza and gelato (one scoop of coffee and one of whipped cream).  Yum!  I will certainly be back.  Toad will work with M and I really like both of them.  W is also a psychologist who left academia and is now a SAHM to an almost 2-year-old.  If you can believe it, she is also pregnant and due just days after we are.  Yup.  We have alot in common and I’m looking fwd to getting to know them both.  Last night we met the Wisons (G &L) at our new favorite burger joint.  This place is GOOD and in walking distance from our house.  G & L also have an almost 2-year-old  and are pregnant with #2.  They are due late in February.

Happily, I’ve found a fabulous new hair guy.  His name is Lewis and I like what he did for my hair.  More importantly though, I love him.  He was thrilled to hear that I have a wife and a baby on the way and gave me lots of recommendations for everything from realtors to coffee shops to people we should meet around town.  I also got a good suggestion for someone that could cut Toad’s hair.  I think Lewis would irritate Toad as he is super spazzy, but I think he’s great.

Lastly, in preparation for Bean we decided to go to the theater for an animated movie.  Neither of us are big kid movie fans, but we’ve got to get ready.  We saw Despicable Me and now I want one of these:

I wasn’t really expecting much more than some air conditioning and a little popcorn, but I thought it was fun.  If I had read much about the movie I would have known that I would like it bc I LOVE the lovable grump.  Bottomline, it’s worth the money.  At least matinée money.


This is What 32 Weeks Looks Like Saturday July 10, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Pregnancy — The Professor @ 4:52 pm

At least at my house.  My new house I should add.

Speaking of the house, we are having lots of fun making it our own.  So far, we’ve done lots of painting (a warm brown in the babies’ room, a deep wine color for our room and as of this afternoon, an oceany blue in the dining room) and quite a bit of furniture assembly (entertainment center, crib and changing table).  We have yet to solve our biggest design conundrum which is a HUGE bare wall in the living room.  Any ideas?


The First Week of May Monday May 10, 2010

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 7:10 am

This package arrived in the mail at the end of the week and it was from Bean!!!!  How cool is that?!  Thanks to my super fabulous mother-in-law, Toad and I got our first Mother’s Day surprise.  Verbena lotion for me and belly balm for her.  Such a fun surprise.

I taught absolutely nothing to anyone this week.  Not so bad actually.  Although classes are over, it’s not all behind me yet.  There were exams to give and papers to grade, so I’m still in professor mode for a bit longer.  In fact much of the week was spent in why oh why professor mode, which involves lots of internal growliness about the fact that I keep assigning 15-20 page final research papers in spite of the fact that I know that such behavior always leads to having  to actually read and critique those papers when the semester ends.  You would think I would learn.

Tuesday was Bean day.  Toad left the hospital a bit early for an OB appointment and all continues to be well.  Heartbeat sounds good (still in the 150’s) and we’re free and clear for another three weeks.  After the appointment we met a brave soul (who also happens to be a recent new Mom) who was willing to guide us through the stimulation overload that is:

Man.  That place is crazy.  How a person that small can possibly need all that stuff is pretty remarkable.  I’m going with it though.  Acknowledging how much I don’t know and keeping my eyes open seems like the best strategy for now.

On Wednesday night we had a cookout with our friends Jess and Trish.  They are planning a wedding and gearing up for all of the legal hoopla that we have been navigating, so we decided it would be a good idea to get together and pass some of that information along.  And while we were at it, we might as well have dinner.  At least, that’s how I saw it.  They have recently gotten a new grill and so we brought the bison (ground bison of course 😉 not the whole thing), they provided the veggies and the flame and a delicious (and informational) dinner was had by all.  I hate that we met these guys so close to the end of our time here.  We’ll miss them.

Friday night found us (surprise, surprise) on the couch eating our dinner from the Whole Foods bar and watching Lost, when a fabulous thing happened.  I FELT BEAN KICK!!!!  Hooray!  At 23 weeks and 1 day, I had my first physical connection with our baby.  It was the tiniest little nudge, but I felt it and it made my day, my week.  Very, very cool.

It was another lovely weekend in our part of the world.  We spent most of it outside, but on Saturday evening we headed indoors to see this movie:

Very cool.  I knew that Toad would love it for it’s adventure/mystery-ness and I had to see it bc I loved the book.  We were both quite happy.

Sunday was Mother’s Day which definitely felt different than it had before.  We both called our own Mothers and then we spent the rest of the day just talking about Bean and enjoying the day.  Toad took me out for brunch (I had a crab cake Benedict – yum!) and then we walked to the baseball stadium for an afternoon game.  Happy Mother’s Day for sure!


The Second Week of April Monday April 19, 2010

Filed under: Movies and TV,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 12:29 pm

This was the kind of weekend that makes it hard to move.  We live in a FABULOUS little community.  I moved here three years ago and I’m so, so, so glad that I did.  I know there are great things ahead, but our little corner of the world feels so much like home it’s hard to imagine that our new spot could possibly feel so homey.

All right.  Enough of that.  What have we been up to during the second week of April?  The short answer is all sorts of things.

After our out-of-town adventure last weekend, we got back home to a busy, business-sy Tuesday.  Bean had her official anatomy scan (everything still looks great) and Toad had another brief chat with the OB.  Not a lot to discuss with those folks these days.  At 20 weeks, she’s feeling good and hasn’t gotten into the uncomfortable part of pregnancy yet.  And even I took my turn in the stirrups and it looks like all is well in Professor land.  With the exception of the fact that true to Dr. Toad’s expectations, my iron levels are indeed low, it looks like I’ll be around for another year.  Once everyone but Baker had interacted with a medical professional, it was time to meet with our friend Lee, the $$ man.  Toad and I are both VERY conservative in the money department and making a financial plan for our family (while TOTALLY necessary and useful) is NOT my idea of a pleasant way to spend the evening.  I don’t know what it is, but the topic is anxiety provoking.  In spite of all that, we made it through and got some usable ideas from Lee about smart timing and savings goals for the house purchase, life insurance avenues for Toad and to a lesser extent me, and retirement planning advice.  An evening well spent for sure.  And Lee is funny.  I like the guy.  That helps.

The remainder of the work week was fairly uneventful.  The Professor talked to a bunch a people who only half listened to her and Toad sat in a dark room interpreting x-rays, MRI’s and PET scans.  Business as usual.

But the weekend….ahhh the weekend.  Blue sky, warm temps and happy girls.  Bean participated in her 2nd race on Saturday morning when Toad ran in the local Hospice 10K that I blogged about last time.  I got up and headed to the lake for a 7 mile loop that I haven’t done in months.  The lake was beautiful and my first twinges of pre-emptive homesickness started as I made my way around.  A lot of important thoughts have been thought and conversations had at that lake.  I’ll miss it for sure.  We spent the afternoon wandering around the Earth Day Fair with the Grabs.  Learning about green construction and local CSA’s, listening to music and eating hummus wraps and gelato.  Toad even got to try out a recumbent bike, although it’s not so easy to pedal from a “lying on the couch” position.  Got some pictures of that that I’ll add later.  Funny stuff.  The only downer was that sunscreen never crossed my mind.  Opps.  Later that night on the couch while watching Lost and eating Whole Foods, my neck felt oddly warm and a quick trip to the bathroom revealed….. yup, a red neck.  Nice.

On Sunday we decided to do church at the lake.  We put Baker on the leash and made our way around, sometimes talking, sometimes just listening to the leaves and the water.  It’s been awhile since we’ve done that and it felt good to be together in that way.  We caught this hilarious documentary late in the afternoon because the local Film Fest is going on.

Hilarious!  Laughing in a cool dark theater after a weekend of running and walking and sun was just the thing and the movie really was great.  If you’ve never heard of the Topp Twins (which I hadn’t before yesterday), one of the comics interviewed in the film described them this way: “I remember a guy from New York ask me,  who’s the big comedy act in New Zealand, and I said ahh… some yodeling, lesbian twins.”  This is truly a joyful movie and if it comes anywhere near you, you should check it out.  In fact, I’ll add the trailer.

The weekend ended on the patio of our friends down the street.  After the movie, we strolled down to their house for Portobello burgers, guacamole, white wine (for me), and terrifying labor and delivery stories.  They have a 4-year-old and apparently, the memories are still strong.  Why do people do this?  It seems like some kind of terrible universal urge to scare the hell out of pregnant women.  Not ok.  We didn’t let it put too much of a damper on the weekend, although Toad did have a nightmare involving a pendulous flap of loose skin on her abdomen that no amount of exercise or surgery could remove.  Lovely.


The First Week of April Wednesday April 14, 2010

Filed under: Family,Music,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 12:03 pm

Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming….. Tomorrow

Home again and so glad to be here.  Looking fwd to weaving more than four days in one place together.  We got in Monday night and only in the last few moments have I felt relaxed and settled back into things.  Reentry.  It takes awhile.  Toad is right about that.

The big news is that on Tuesday we got to see Bean on the big screen and in 4-D.  One of the attendings at the hospital does very slow and meticulous anatomy scans for the residents and fellows after hours and so we were able to get the good news before the anatomy scan with the OB.  No… we don’t know if we are having a boy Bean or a girl Bean, but we are sure that we are having a jumping Bean.  That little person was moving around, fluttering arms and legs throughout the whole scan.  All of the organs look just as they should and I think the baby clearly has Toad’s feet.

On Thursday, we hit the road en route to our new home.  The trip was rainy and filled with construction, so it  took quite a bit longer than expected, but we made it in time to have a good dinner and snuggle into bed.  On Friday Toad did a board review for the residents, we had our consult visit with our pediatrician and we signed our names on the dotted line for the condo.  Yahoo!!!  Major items checked off the list.  The pediatrician (we have heard him referred to as the “Baby Whisperer”) was everything I had hoped for.  He had a very calm, reassuring voice, a bow tie and he didn’t blink to find out that Bean will have two Mommies.  He also gave us some good advice along the lines of following your instincts and trusting yourself and I think we are lucky to have found him.  Also, he will be meeting Bean in the hospital.  Very cool.

And then, there is the condo.  Toad loved it and it was fun to bustle around the place imagining how we might set it up.  We also found out that we will have a one-car garage and a storage space, which was certainly good news.  I won’t be big, but it will be comfortable and I think it has what we need.  Also, after hearing us talk about the nursery, seeing the rings and the check with both of our names, our landlord (who is a late 60ish lay minister in his church) exclaimed “I get it!  You’re married!”  Right you are Jerry.  It was a funny moment in which he acknowledged his own struggles with acceptance and later realization that as he put it, “God put us hear to love each other.  Congratulations and good luck!”.  Ok.  That went well.  Here is the floor plan for our new digs:

We spent the weekend visiting with friends new (fun Thai dinner with Toad’s new colleagues and their wives) and old (lunch with Toad’s best friend since med school and his wife and little boy and breakfast with my cousin who is in grad school in  town), exploring town on foot (lots of AM jogs and walks in city parks), talking about making our life here (but not over beer – thanks Bean!), visiting and even introducing ourself to the local (and friendly!) UU’s at the closest fellowship, eating yummy food (this town has great restaurants) and even seeing this guy in concert:

He looks a little like a monkey when he performs, but it’s charming.  Lots of weird movements with his head and feet.  The guy is great though.

I need a nap.


April Begins Sunday April 4, 2010

Filed under: Career,Family,Pregnancy,The Wife & Mother — The Professor @ 8:14 pm

April marks the last complete month of my employment.  Most of the time this job has felt like it would never end, but it’s looking like it actually will.  And soon!  I’ve decided to enjoy these last few weeks in the classroom.  I am certain that I will return to teaching in some capacity, but I don’t know when that will be, so I’m soaking up all the good stuff before I go.  Operation One Month to Go calls for enjoying my students and ignoring my colleagues.  This is also known as Business as Usual.

It seems like my housing prayers will be answered soon.  Early last week Toad got a promising lead (cool house in a cool neighborhood, likely to go fast) through a med school friend and I headed out-of-town bright and early Thursday morning to check it out.  We arranged appointments throughout the afternoon to make the drive worthwhile and although I was WORN OUT by the end of the day, I was fairly certain I had found the place.  We’ll be ironing out the details this week, so it’s not final yet, but I’m optimistic.  Here are the details:

  • First floor condo (built only two years ago) in riding distance of the university that accepts dogs!!!!!!
  • Overlooks a VERY attractive courtyard, with winding pathways, flowers and outdoor fireplaces
  • Two good size bedrooms plus a small study nook
  • Fabulous kitchen
  • Fairly swank gym

I headed out-of-town Friday morning for Toad’s parents house where we spent a quiet Easter weekend, sleeping late and taking long walks and talking outside on the porch.  At 18 weeks, Toad got up on Saturday morning to go on a ride with her Dad.  He claims she’s slowed down a bit, but I wonder about that.  I’m surprised that she’s able to do these things in the 2nd trimester, but as she pointed out, when your Dad is an OB, going for a ride with him is the best way to be on a bike.