When will the Education End?!! Saturday May 2, 2009

This is the scene at my house at almost any time of the day or night.   Toad snuggled up with either a textbook or weird looking images on her laptop.  Baker close by, soaking up all of the knowledge he can hold.  It has been this way since the beginning of the year.  Thankfully, she has her board date scheduled and all of this will end on Sunday 5/31.  I only hope that we can all last that long.  This is not a joke.  Residency is not easy people. 

 

To make matters worse, last week I jumped into the study fray.  I have a certification exam in HR scheduled for June 5.  Yes, I have known for almost a year that this day would eventually come and I should have started serious study months ago, but here I am.  I’ve given myself a month and that will just have to be enough.  And if it’s not, I’ll just take the damn thing again next year.  Worse things have happened.  I have avoided preparation for this test for lots of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I’m pretty sure I don’t want to build a career in HR, but now that I’m digging in, it’s not so bad.  It never is.  I wish I could remember that.

Fleet of Hope Friday May 1, 2009

 

Although I posted the release of the new IG album back in March, I’ve only started listening to it in the last week.  I don’t know if their music is such a comfort in my life bc it was there for me as a teenager when I really needed it or bc they are just that good.  It’s impossible for me to be objective about Amy and Emily and that’s ok with me.  Their music has never let me down and though I was slow to warm up to this one, it is no exception.  So far Fleet of Hope and Second Time Around are getting the most speaker time, seeming to fit the most with where I am right now.  Resonating. 

 

I taught my last class of the semester on Monday and today marked the final faculty meeting of AY 2008-2009.  My life has always operated on school time and so this marks the end of my year.  Without being particularly mindful about it, I’ve been in transition over the last few weeks.  Recalibrating.  It’s that time of year.  Understanding where I’ve been and where I want to go.  I believe in the value of that kind of introspection, but loss (no matter how small) is painful.  It hurts.  That became clear to me on my run this morning.  Change is a bitch and I can’t tell that it gets easier.  I’m pretty sure that it’s just as hard as it always has been.  Maybe all there is is to work towards approaching it with more grace.  Allowing the pain to come in and do it’s work – cleaning out the dark spaces and making room for what is to come.