Is this a great little face or what? I took this picture during my trip to Atlanta earlier this month. Miss Bella was willing to pose for a “look what we made!” shot before we put our strawberry muffins in the oven. Can you believe how pumped she was about baking?!! She was really into it. Her kitty had to be involved in the process from start to finish, which made things a little tricky but we managed. And the muffins were quite tasty!
Given that Friday was T’s birthday, there wasn’t a lot that was needed to make the evening a good one, but we really outdid ourselves. Here’s the recipe:
Bliss.
I got this idea from T’s blog. My BFF is full of great ideas. I like the idea of capturing some pieces from one day each week. It might be a nice way to look back on to see how things change over time., or how they don’t. Here goes….
Outside my window…. it is dark and quiet. It turns out that the first installation of the Tuesday Daybook is more of a Tuesday Nightbook. Oh well, it happens when it happens. The storms that wandered through earlier in the evening have found their way out and stillness has taken their place.
I am thinking… about babies and friendship and Gadget and the course I am teaching online (wha??!!!) and our next babymaking appointment and the list goes on. What am I NOT thinking about might be a more concise question.
I am thankful for… the sense of connectedness I have felt with myself during the last week.
From the kitchen…. not a peep can be heard. We met a TTC friend for dinner tonight. She is almost at the end of her two week wait and trying to keep herself from testing early. It was an IUI, IVF, progesterone supposititory, estrogen patch, FSH shot kind of an evening.
I am wearing… my most comfy black nightgown.
I am reading… The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality by the Dalai Lama. I had to let Una go when I finished Ahab’s Wife a few days ago and I’m just not ready for fiction just yet.
I am hoping… that I don’t have this job next August.
I am creating… quite a bit lately. Going to CKC with T really got me back on track. I’m back to my morning pages and I’ve managed to get down to the basement a little each day for scrapbooking time. Man do those two things feel good.
I am praying… for clarity and guidance.
Around the house… it is peaceful. Toad has relocated to the bedroom and is snuggled in with a textbook. Baker is snoozing on his sofa in the living room and Gadget is curled up in a very small ball on the desk beside me. I can hear his purrs.
One of my favorite things… is my new hair. I feel lighter and more put together. It’s actually easier to deal with and it looks so much healthier.
A few plans for the rest of the week…. Nothing too substantial on the schedule. I’m happy about that. We have been out of town quite a bit lately and I’m looking forward to a whole week at home. Planning to get ahead in my classes (we’ll see how that goes) and carve out a little scrapping time here and there.
A “picture thought I’m sharing… In case you are curious, you read that shirt correctly. Toad is wearing a shirt that says “Legalize Gay…. Cupcakes” The missing word is cupcakes. Who knew? We found it in Seattle, we thought it was cute, we bought it. Done.
It’s a weird time. A blurry time. Lots of changes on the horizons. Most of the time I’m excited, but sometimes it gets a little scary. I’ve spent this week in WAY TOO MANY faculty meetings at a university where I’m likely not to be this time next year. I’m entering the year knowing that no matter what happens, it won’t be forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Man does that seem to be shifting my perspective. So far, the insanity doesn’t seem to be seeping into me. So far.
In the midst of a terrible job market, Toad already has two bites on her line. One of the bites is more of a nibble, but the other is looking really feasible. In fact, they are flying us both out for a visit at the beginning of Sept. How exciting is that? The position is an academic one that pay well, has excellent hours with limited call and in a town we already like. All of this is moving much faster than I had anticipated (her fellowship does not end until end of June 2010), but it would be FABULOUS to have so much time to plan a move. That would give me much more time than I had expected to find something career-wise to do with myself. Exciting.
The first baby try was unsuccessful, but we are sallying forth and maybe the second time will be the charm. This is a hell of a process and I am grateful for the opportunity to go through it. I mean that. We are learning so much about each other and every day I am more and more wowed by my wife. She is strong and capable and committed to our family.
Also, as of this afternoon my hair looks nothing like the picture above. I realized a few days ago that I have spent maybe two days this summer without a ponytail. This is generally a good indication that it’s time for a cut. Nicole cut 11 inches this afternoon and I now have hair that comes just below my ears. It’s light and piecey and perhaps makes my face look a bit more angular. I hope it is. Regardless of what it does for my bone structure, it signals a shift. An external signal of all of the shifting beneath the surface.
These are the two ladies who shared my last summer hurrah. I got back home late Saturday night and I’m still blissed out from the whole thing.
First, there is Miss Bella. I got to spend two whole days with this girl. Her Mom and Dad went to work and we stayed home and played. Hard. We talked about what puppies say and wagged our fingers so “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”. We got an impressive amount of mileage from the hilarity of a sneeze and even baked strawberry muffins. Bella is just so much fun. A curious, funny, happy girl. Grateful for the two days I got with her.
Then, there is Bella’s momma. Yeah. Such a good visit. I think we were both relaxed and just eager to spend time together. Every second felt good. Talking on the floor while Bella played, watching movies on the futon, eating her cooking. All of that was more than enough, but there was more. We spent two days together taking scrapbooking classes by day and cropping by night. Man, it’s been awhile. This weekend definitely reminded me of what I love about this craft. All the paper and glitter (who knew I would get sucked into that?) and fonts. Entirely too much fun. Reminds me that I need to create this space for myself.
I’m heading to Atlanta in the morning, but today I am continuing in my quest to think about something other than the fact that we might be pregnant. So…….. what better time to unveil the Professor’s Top Five?!!! No need to thank me :).
#5. Dara Torres
Ms. Torres is a new addition to the list. I had never heard of her until last years’ Olympics in Beijing. Let’s just say I watched a lot of swimming last summer.
#4. Kate Moenning
Oh Shane. Yes, she needs to eat; yes, The L Word is a sketchy show on a good day; no, I’m not generally a fan of women in eyeliner, but man oh man. She’s got somethin. She’s got quite a lot of it. A kind of glambutch sexual energy. It’s in the eyes and the way she moves. Wowza.
#3. Mia Hamm
I can remember the moment it happened. The summer of 1999, the World Cup. I’ve never before or since watched so much soccer. I actually bought and hung a poster of this woman in my closet. I read every article I could find. Sure, she had a husband, but that didn’t stop me. It was love at first sight. The shy powerhouse of women’s soccer. Love her.
#2 Jodie Foster
Nothing else to say here.
#1 Amy Ray
Always in first place. This woman has made my heart go pitter patter since I was 14 years old. Toad’s ok with it.
I do love a good weekend at home. Just regular old boring life. I guess I’m a homebody at heart. This weekend has been good for that. Toad did a moonlighting shift on Saturday morning and another this afternoon, but that has just meant more time for reading and blog surfing and laying around on the couch. I have managed to clean most of the house, do laundry and get a few back-to-school-tax-free purchases at AnnTaylorLoft. The remainder of my time has been spent in a decidely non-productive fashion. Bliss.
I’ve got two weeks left in my summer. I want to soak up all the freedom of not having classes or meetings, but I’ve got baby on the brain. It’s a little paralyzing really. Fixation makes relaxation pretty impossible. Fixation and freedom don’t fit into the same sentence. When this kind of OCD emerges, it’s time for distraction.
1. Ahab’s Wife or, The Star-Gazer (Sena Jeter Naslund)
I am loving this book. Les passed it along almost a year ago and it has occupied various spots in the house without ever really getting any attention. The cover, the title, the blurb on the back. All of it said “blah” to me. The wife of the guy from Moby Dick. Who cares? A few days ago I decided I did care. I don’t know what happened. I started reading and was immediately sucked in. I love to be surprised and I have been surprised by this book. I had expected some kind of womens’ studies slant on historical fiction (which was not appealing) and I got something entirely different. I got Una. I got a truly great character. And I’ve got almost 700 pages of her. Perfect timing.
2. My niece
If you don’t have your own baby, why not play house with your best friends’ baby? That’s what I’m thinking. So I’m headed to the ATL next week to do just that. I can’t wait to see all three of them. I hate that T has already gone back to school and we won’t be able to spend the days together, but Mommy and Daddy at work does offer a unique opportunity. A few days as primary caregiver for a real.live.baby. Looking fwd to it.
3. Knitting
This is a recent development. I have never been a knitter. I have never actually held knitting needles until a few weeks ago. It’s something I’ve always thought I would be into and so it seems like this might be the time. Knitting strikes me as an appropriate craft for the anxious. We met my parents in Atlanta for a quick visit a few weekends back and Mom and I hit Michael’s. I bought some lovely yarn, a pair of needles and a beginner book. Mom showed me how to tie a slip knot, tie on and knit the garter stitch. I am on my way. My first project is a scarf (you gotta start with a scarf, right?) and I have big plans for baby blankets.
4. Running & Yoga
My body is feeling kind of “off” lately, but I’m struggling to stay with it. Toad and I ran a half marathon in Seattle in late June and runs just haven’t felt all that good since then. I was ready for that race and I was proud of the accomplishment and the fact that I went through the finish line with my wife. It was a high. You might describe what has followed as an extended low. I’ve kept with it for the most part (running 4 times a week), but I haven’t felt springy and smooth in a long time. I want that back.
I can’t go to yoga if I’m not in town or if I’m teaching during the classes. Bikram yoga and summer are not compatible. I was finally able to get back on Monday morning and I am STILL sore. It was ugly. It was a big, sweaty, painful masochistic hour and a half. Oh yeah…… I’ll be back.
5. Big Brother
Oh the shame of it!!! Actually, it’s kind of freeing to get that out there. To own it. “Hello, my name is _____________ and I watch Big Brother”. Now, I’m not watching the feeds or stalking the message boards, but I watch it. I do. I can feel my brain cells shrinking and gasping for nutrition, but still I watch. This isn’t the most exciting season, but it has its moments. Ronnie is freakishly evil and Michelle’s efforts to keep her PhD a secret is entertaining.
6. Scrapbooking
I’m not actually scrapbooking, but I am thinking about scrapbooking. That is a step in the right direction. I’m pumped about the scrapping adventure that T and I are going to next weekend and it’s got me excited. Thinking about stories and colors and fonts. I love that stuff and I’ve missed it.
In foreclosure news – we talked to the landlords last night and they assured us that the house isn’t really in foreclosure. I guess the police officer was just joking around and we are in a kind of pseudo foreclosure. Whatev. The bottom line is that we are getting a whole lot of nothin from them, so we’ve got to keep our eyes open for real estate. Who knows what’s coming next.
The universe provided me with something to occupy my mind this afternoon in the form of a police officer at the front door. Wha???? Well, it looks like our house is in foreclosure. The house that we RENT I should add. This is crazy. I’ve always wondered about our landlords, but I assumed they were paying the mortgage…… I guess that’s what I get for making assumptions. Unbelivable. Sounds like we might be moving soon.
& Obsessin. Yup, that’s me. Summer school has ended and I’ve got a little time before the troops will be rallying for the Fall semester. This is a good thing in a lot of ways (time for a trip to Atlanta and scrapping with T, getting back to yoga, reading something that is not a textbook), but it also means that my mind has less to play with. This is never good and it is particularly not.good. right.now. As I mentioned in the last post, we have officially boarded the baby train. We’ve decided not to post a lot of the details of the process on this blog, but it’s been one hell of a ride already. I’m sure I will learn a tremendous amount from all of this, but it’s clear that the first lesson is patience. I don’t have a lot of it and apparently, TTC demands inhuman levels. Trying to welcome this challenge as an opportunity for growth. Yeah.
Blue in the Sky 